I ramble when I write long posts, it’s just what I do! And I didn’t proofread this post, because it was too long, so hopefully you can decipher my retahded English skills. I also started writing this on Easter, and continued writing over the weeks following, which is why the timeline is a little effed up but I'm not going back and changing it now because I know you're smart enough to figure it out. =)
The Easter weekend was very special for me. I’ve been in RCIA, with Michael and his mom as my sponsors, since last October. At the Easter Vigil, I was confirmed and received my first communion. Back in October when I started RCIA, I didn’t think I would actually convert, I knew I had many questions and I wanted to learn more about the religion because it is important to Michael and I wanted to support him. When Michael and I talked about religion, he always made sure to tell me that I didn’t need to be Catholic for us to get married…we talked about how we wanted to have similar beliefs so we wouldn’t confuse the bejesus out of our bebes. And we did have similar beliefs. Now that I'm Catholic, I really don’t believe anything differently than before. I've been searching for religion for nearly 10 years now, and I've formed my beliefs…by becoming Catholic, I found a community where I can practice those beliefs. It is an amazing feeling…for 10 years I knew I wanted to be part of a religion, I knew I believed in God even though I was not taught that as a child (my mother is an atheist and looking back I think we were taught that there was no God, look at it through science, God can't be proven so you would be stupid to think there is a God, etc). Anyway, 10 years is a long time to be searching for something that you know you want, something you know you need, and not knowing what that something is. It is an amazing feeling to finally know what it is!
So like I said, I didn’t know back in October if I would convert. I kept asking questions and getting great/intelligent answers, and being involved in intelligent conversations about religion, so I kept going back. And somewhere in the middle of RCIA I realized that I had found the something I had been searching for. Something that gives me strength to deal with the lows in life, something that helps me celebrate the highs in life, an outlet to help me be thankful for all that I have and for the amazing world around me…also something that connects Michael and I and brings us closer together, and will continue to do that for the rest of our lives…and something that I can hopefully pass on to my kids.
Before Easter Vigil, everyone in RCIA said what they were thankful for. I'm so grateful to have Michael, whose love is never ending and is so supportive of me, and a relationship more wonderful than I ever could have imagined. And I'm grateful for Michael’s mom, who is like a mother to me, who is one of the most giving people I've ever met, and is a role model for what I want to be like when I am a mother myself. My sponsors were perfect because both Michael and his mom are examples of what a real Christian is (Lauren history: I grew up in a TX town where many people called themselves Christians but I don’t think they actually knew what that meant, and my family was hurt many times by their ignorance and unkind actions, so I always had a dislike for Christians until I moved to CA and saw that people can be Christians AND nice people), and their (Michael and his mom's) example helped lead me to the Catholic Church.
So now that Easter came and passed, Michael and I have still be going to church most weekends. I’m not going to be one of those people who thinks they HAVE to go to church every Sunday or I'm going to hell. It’s just a calming and almost meditative experience for me, so I like to go as much as I can to sorta take a deep breath and relax from the craziness of life.
I just had a great talk last weekend with Kari’s mom, who has studied many different religions. I really admire her for that! I don’t think anyone is right…I don’t think anyone is wrong…I think religion is a personal choice and we are all going to the same place, no matter if you pray to a Christian God, Hindu gods, or you don’t pray at all. I want to use my religion to be a better person in this world, not to worry about what is going to happen after I die.
I hate that some people assume I became Catholic so Michael and I could get married. Several people commented "Now that you're Catholic, there must be an engagement coming up soon!" Uh no, I did this for me, not him, thankyouverymuch.